Another Testimony of Mine

Now I will declare to you some things of my life. I speak to you of truth concerning me. Amen.
I was a drug user and a drunkard. I was a mixed up young man that walked with many wicked-hearted youths. I craved the excitement of dreadful ways. I choked on evil lusts that confused me with hate of my own self. I walked in fornications and did that which was wicked in the eyes of the Lord. The ways of evil was my friend. I came close to death more then once. The evil one (Satan) had a hold of my left hand and God of Heaven had a hold of my right hand. I was pulled from one side to another. But God would not give up on me, nor would he let Go. His might and power was the stronger and the fight over me was won. Amen.

All Praise, Glory and Honor belong to the Father of Heaven. For he has saved a reach of a man who was unworthy of him. Amen.

He dragged me out of the pit that I was cast into. He took me from him that would have devoured me unto eternal death. I once was lower then the worm and not fit to be eaten by it. In my own eyes I was worth nothing and not worthy for his eyes to hold attention to. It would have been justified for God to condemn me. The weight of my sins was like an elephant made of lead upon my back. But yet out of all my evil ways God took me up and made me into the man I am today. God is not done with me yet. He is still working on me. He will restore me to his original design. He laid the plans of me on his own table before I was even in the womb. In the womb he took care of me and caused me to be nourished. He molded me and shaped my destined life. He knew what I would become before I began to take my first steps. Amen.

All Praise, Glory and Honor belong to the Father of Heaven. For he has saved a reach of a man who was unworthy of him. Amen.

I now sit at this computer writing these words. Words they are but I could not write them if he did not save me. For if I were not saved I would not have bothered with this writing. For what reason would I?

My mother took me several times to a Pentecostal Church when I was young. I did not understand it. At times some of the things that went on frightened me. I though that the people in the church were all out of their minds. This included my mother. As time went on I did begin to understand what it was all about. But it still made me wonder if they were out of there minds. Later as the years went on I understood even more and thought to myself that I may as well join in. During this time of my life I was just a kid. So I thought that I would just do as they did because it was the thing to do. I was not frightened any more. Maybe I was a little weird-ed out at times and I still thought the grown up were a bit nuts. But no harm was done to me so I just went along with it all. They did not force me or make me to do it! I just thought I would do it because everyone else was doing the same thing. They did not program me in to doing anything. I did it on my own.

As time went on in my life, another member of the Church approached me one day. He explained to me about Jesus. He told me why everyone was acting so weird and that it was because of Jesus that they did those strange things that weird-ed me out. I thought the guy was a bit nut’s but I did listen to him. I believed in God and I even believed in Jesus at this time. But I did not fully understand everything. I was still a kid and I’m not sure that I was even ready for what was about to happen. The man showed me the words in the Bible and even pointed out many things concerning being saved. He told me how to get saved and what I needed to do. We prayed together and we both agreed that I was saved. But because I was still a kid I can’t say for sure that I understood everything that took place. Because of that I can’t be sure that I truly was saved at that time. Perhaps I was just more confused! After this time in my life some things happened and I was not schooled in my new Christian life very well. I had no Christian mentor to school me in what my new Christian life was all about. This non-schooling of the
Church was an error. This error caused me to fall quickly into more error.

Then some time went by, in which; we did not go to church much. I still believed in God and thought I was saved but I did not understand much because I was not schooled. Someone should have begun teaching me more about God and Jesus but other things prevented it. I needed someone to disciple me. But that did not happen. Instead I went on with my life and only learned more about God and Jesus hear and there. Much of the things I learned did not stick with me. Then later I became a teenager and was rather lost when it came to the things of God or Jesus.

As Time went on I grew away from Church and God. Then I went out and began to sin greatly. I sinned like those mentioned in other writings, and also spoken of in this one. I took a downward spiral into a land of (I don’t care) and did not look back for years to come.

There was one time in my life from before now, that I said to myself let’s get this over with. I was ready to be done with this life when I was still a teen. I wanted to get through it as quickly as a can. This was my thought. I asked myself why have I been born? I asked myself what reason was I to be bothered with that I should live upon this earth? I even came to the conclusion that I would live upon this earth doing as little as possible to get to the end of it until I died. I decided back then that nothing on this earth meant a thing to me. I decided back then that I would keep nothing for myself. I desired no house, no car, no wealth, no children, no anything. I only desired to get it over with. But I did think to myself that I would not go out like the week one that ended it by taking his life. This I decided when I was still a teen and even made a pledge that I would keep it. I would life out this life and leave it as I came in it and grow old and die.

Now I know that all of this is before I knew God. All Praise, Glory and Honor belong to the Father of Heaven. For he has saved a reach of a man who was unworthy of him. Amen.

Then I made a plan that would keep my nothing life going as I thought from before. I would direct things my way of my own leading to the end I chose for myself. It was my plan to follow through with what I had said I would do. Take nothing in this life, grow old and die. I knew that there was a God but because I was not schooled after so-called being saved there was nothing else to do. So I just planned it all out for myself on how my life would go. Now my ignorance was complete. I began taking paths that only lead me into darker and darker ways of life. I did many evils in the sight of the Lord. Some were even to that of wicked ways.

All Praise, Glory and Honor belong to the Father of Heaven. For he has saved a reach of a man who was unworthy of him. Amen.

Then one day just out of the blue, I went back to church. I think it was after something terrible happened in my life but I’m having a hard time remembering which one or at what time. But nevertheless I went back to church all the same. Now it was at church that I heard something that made me take interest in coming back again. Perhaps I just wanted to fit in someplace. I don’t know! Perhaps I just felt something or remembered something from the days that I went to church with my mom. Maybe I just missed all the weird stuff that went on when I was a kid. I don’t really know for sure why I went back again. But I did start liking it again. I can’t explain why but I just felt that I wanted to go to church. Some people that were around me at the time did mention to me about going more often. But it really was just my own choice. I simply decided that I would go. After all I really had nothing better to do. So I went!

My teen years were over and my twenties had just begun. The excitement of the evil days from before was getting dull. Nothing in my life was very productive. I decided that I wanted to do something else besides the nothing I was already doing. So I kept on going to church. At the same time I was going to collage to learn art. Going to school was also just something to do while waiting to die at an old age. But as I began going to Church more and more I began understanding many things that I did not fully understand before.

The weeks and months went by and things in my old life began to bother me. I went back to drinking because it became an escape for me. But even the drinking was not taking the guilt I was feeling away any more. Finally after several months of self hate I broke down. It was as if all the evil of my life before was now at the front of my mind and I realized what a horrible person I truly was. All that day I was drinking beer. But for some odd reason I could not get drunk enough to keep me from feeling the pain of what kind of person I was. Then I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. As I stood there looking at my self I could not hold it in any more. I just cried and cried for several minutes. Then just like that for some reason that I can’t explain I began to pray to God. It was there in that bathroom that I was truly saved for the first time in my life. It was this time that I knew that God truly cared about me. I’m not sure what happened but I was no longer drunk. I just stood there and prayed. I remember looking at the light bulb above my head. The warmth from the bulb was some how magnified. I felt warmer then I should have. My face got hot. I began to sweat and shake. All I could do was cry and beg God to forgive me. I told him that was a sinner and how much I need him in my life. I did not understand what was happening to me but I wanted more. I remember falling to my knees and I raised my hands up to the light bulb. But it was not the bulb that I was raising my hands to. It was the light. The light was brighter then it was by itself alone. After some time I could not see the light bulb any more. I just prayed and prayed to a God that I did not know. But I knew that I wanted to know him from that time forward. When it was all over I went to the bed and sat there thinking about all that happened.

I continued to go to church for months. But I kept the fact that I was saved to myself. I was saved alone and no one else knew about it be God and I. So I though that was the end of it. So I went on going to church and as I did some changes came to my mind. One day I bought a pack of cigarettes. As I was walking from the store I pulled them out of my pocket. I looked at them and said that I would quit. I tossed the full pack over my shoulder and never went back. A few weeks later I quit doing drugs all together. This was just the beginning of the changes in my life. Amen.

All Praise, Glory and Honor belong to the Father of Heaven. For he has saved a reach of a man who was unworthy of him. Amen.

One day while at church the pastor was talking about baptism. He was talking about it because some one else was going to be baptized. I then began thinking on that and came to the conclusion that it was time for me to do the same thing. But a member of the church told me that it was only done after I was a member of the church. I then asked how to become officially a member. He then told me that I needed to become a member of the body of Christ. He told me that the body of Christ was the true church. He told me that all Christians were the body of Christ. To become a part of the body of Christ I had to be saved. He did not know that God already saved me in my bathroom a few weeks earlier. So I asked him how they did that. he then explained that I must confess my sins to God and as Jesus to be Lord over my life. The things he told me was already what had taken place but he did not know it. So I went through the motions because I wanted to get baptized. I did cry some more and did feel more changes in me. I prayed again and gave me a feeling of joy in my heart. But it was not as overwhelming as it was the first time. Nevertheless, the man was convinced of the truth concerning me being saved. A few weeks later I was baptized at Calvary Baptist Church in California. Amen.